Monday, March 30, 2009

I Had a Bad Day

I applied for an internship with Nebo School District to teach next year. There were 39 applicants and 32 positions. Only 7 getting turned down - pretty good odds, right? Well, I got turned down. It makes me feel worse to know that so few didn't get it. I don't think I've ever been turned down for things like this before. My motivation to go to school tomorrow, write lesson plans, and finish off the semester are now at ZERO. They told me I can sign up to be on an alternate list, which I will do, but I am not optomistic about it. I do have some inside information though, which is this:

One of the directors who was there was Russ's boss's wife. So I talked to her while I was waiting for my interview. She called her husband and lunch and told him about me and said I was great. Then during the deliberating, she apparently voted for me and spoke up in my behalf, but the principals already wanted specific people and so I didn't get it. Apparently she just went home and told her husband they made a big mistake in not hiring me. That's nice to have someone on the inside to find all that stuff out, but still, sad.

So now.....................I don't know. I honestly don't want to student teach. I don't want to be in someone else's class for 4 months, not get paid for it, drive to who knows where for it, and not be able to work anywhere else because I'll basically already have a full-time (although non-paying) job. I'm toying with the idea of graduating in August and just not getting my teaching lisence, but then what would I do with my life? And who knows, maybe someone will have something come up and I might still get the internship, but for now, I just feel SO down in the dumps. I now realize why people don't tell people right away they are pregnant. I wish I could just say that I didn't care either way, but I seriously didn't even have a plan B. Ever since my freshman year, I had planned on this internship. So I know Heavenly Father is in charge, but right now I am having a hard time seeing what His plan is now. There was so much riding on me getting that job - 20,000 dollars to name one. We just really planned on having that income to save for Russ's grad school tuition and buying a new car and I just feel like I let Russ down too. He, of course, disagrees and knows we'll be okay.

I just don't know what the motivation is to keep going to school and working hard when I know that I'm not going to get paid for it or have a guaranteed job when it's over. Plus, I just don't want to go to school this week and face everyone who a)I told I was applying and b)who did get accepted.

I'll admit that this entry is probably a little dramatic and VERY woe is me, but I could really use some moral support (yes, I am fishing for comments) :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Russ's Birthday

Russ and Eric having their 27th birthday parties at Chuck-E-Cheese
(in addition to about a dozen 3-7 year olds)

Friday the 13th was Russ's birthday and on Saturday we celebrated by going to Chuck-E-Cheese. It was PACKED! There were so many kids there (including one of the students in my 2nd grade class). We still had a good time though. We ordered pizzas, played arcade games, and took our traditional (we've had his birthday there twice, so now it is a tradition I guess) picture of Russ and I and then trying to pile everyone into the photo booth (which failed this year). I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story:

Russ and I at his party LAST year

Russ and I at his party THIS year (we look so much better this year, huh? except that I'm not looking at the camera)

the group from last year, a more or less successful picture of everyone in attendance

Part I of the attendees this year, including yours truly looking bald in the bottom left

Part II of the attendees, this time including Garrett in keychain form at the top and Britney with a completely featureless face

The boys...there was much laughing and chortling while this picture was being "sketched" Guess who is who!

the girls, apparently in a choir pose since we all angled...

the boys hanging out one more time before Chris left for Maryland

Emrie's shirt says "Let there be cake!" :) And yes, she is in the stage where everything goes right in her mouth :)

Russ's pineapple cake that he had to make by himself while I was taking a test for teacher lisencing :( No one should have to make their own cake, but it tasted GREAT (and curse not being able to choose the date or time of standardized tests)

We experimented with the "candles" a little bit... they may look like straws, but they are candles

and they still tried to blow them out :)

Considering the busy morning/week we had the day of this party, it went rather well and was a lot of fun. It was great to have so many friends to celebrate with this year. I am just sorry that we weren't better photographers and could have gotten more pictures of people playing games, eating pizza, or at least a picture of Russ and I together.